Friday, September 03, 2004
M2M - Don't Say You Love Me
M2M - Don't Say You Love Me
Friday
Feeling: okok...jus bored...looking for ppl to chit chat...
HmMmMmMm...jus came home from grp practice...a bit tired...today practiced my favourite song - dong lie! though quite some time nvr play den abit rusty lah, but...i still danced to the tune! haha seems like only dong lie and feng shou luo gu and those super fast speed song could make me so high...for now...hahaha. today's grp prac was kinda patheic though...ZERO YANG QIN...ZERO LIU QIN...ZERO ZHONG RUAN...only one gao yin ruan and one pipa...den...1 dizi nia...percussion 3...cello 2...bass...ME only...den ard 6++ erhu...haiz...wonder wad everyone is doing...are they really so busy? or they dont feel like coming anymore? of cos, some ppl i noe their reasons lah...but still cant help but wonder wad the year 1s and 2s are doing...wad is siew ping doing? wad is weiling doing? wad is li ling doing? wad is victoria doing? wad is samuel doing? wad is sze hui doing? wad is qian tong doing? wad is shi min doing? wad is yuru doing? wad is kai xian doing? <-- did he come today? i cant remember...hmmm... wad is lifang doing? haiz...seems like...the ONZ kinda feeling teck seng they all, chuan cheng and frens...the feeling we all are putting so much effort into to create...to make everyone onz...got the feeling its abit in vain lor...are we really getting old and haf generation gap? everyday u'll see me, ah beng, zg, yinzhi the few of us come down co room slack...but how many year 1s and year 2s do we actually see? as far as year 1's concerned, i'll say samuel and sze hui are the most active ones. we got so many year 1s...all of which we tried to befriend so much and get them to stay and all...how many actually did the same thing as us? i wont xpect them to come down to co everyday...but...prac? lately i haven seen many coming down lo...maybe its the exams, tests...and the projects...but...its like...yeah, true, its a lot of workload...but...didnt evelyn manage well? she even got into the top 3%! she from business school lor...why she can come down to co room everyday, come slack and chit chat...while the others cannot even jus come down for practice? i haf been really angry wif a few people because of this lor...i dont wanna mention names, but, u noe who u r...even my best frens are doing it lor...as a fren, yeah i really loved them for who they are and all...but, as a fellow orchestra player, i kinda condemn them lor. its jus 2-3 hours lor...cant even sacrifice that small bit of time? u think u can really study that much in that small time frame? not studying for that small amount of time wont fail u right? didnt we do the same? tml got test, haven study, but still come for grp prac anyways...its not we dont pioritise our studies lor...but...its a form of responsibility...though verbally its not compulsary...but...its kinda like...expected lor...this is part of a player's profession...though i also pon tang SPSE's prac lately, but, its like...if i dont wanna go, i'll tell them straight in the face lor. nothing to scared wad...in fact, if i get my job (see below), i really got no choice but to tell them that lor...but i will never let my job affect my co practices...i will make sure co is still my top piority. as a year 3, i haf adopted an 'isolation' point of view with matters regarding how the co committe works...but...how can i tolerate a grp prac likedat? this is the most most patheic grp prac i ever seen lor. not even the braddell heights symphony orchestra, which i kinda condemn for their sucky attendance, is as sucky as this lor. i dont wanna say such stuff to the committee...neither will i blame them...cos i noe they are doing their best and are doing a good job. but...im still angry over this attendance issue lor...its like...its such a pain lor...and u dunno how to get rid of it...this prob...this is unlike having meat stuck in my braces...when i need water or a toothpick to 'shuang'...i dont even noe the solution to this prob...sigh sigh...teck seng ah teck seng...wad is wrong? can u guide us? oh well...guess u cant...this is a problem we haf to settle on our own...and as i've mentioned ever so many times, i dunno how to express myself properly in real life...so...i hope those who read this blog will understand and try to do something about it...
btw, i dont bully ppl cos i wanna bully them lor. its like...my way of trying to get closer? maybe its misunderstood by many as ungentlemen and all...but...how else can i get closer to ur true self without expressing my true self? i dont like being fake...hypocritical...and all. cos i've had enough of that as a waiter...u want me to be gentlemen? sure, i can be the number gentlemen u gals wanted ever so badly. but...will i be sincere? thats another thing. if im ever gentlemen to anyone, den its a fake me u're seeing. of cos, i will put on that fake mask when i first tok to ppl...but as time goes by, i will slowly remove that mask...and...when u see the true and ungentlemen me, thats when u noe u r closest to me...thats when i really really regard u as a fren...and expect the same from u. why am i saying this? i duno. jus felt like writing, so i wrote lor.
anyway, prac might suck, but, guess the rest of they day still oki oki la... the human resource from raffles hotel gave me a ring...seems like they need a waiter...if i nvr hear wrong, i should be getting 1k for working every weekday (xecpt wed) 6 - 11 and weekends 11 - 9...or something likedat...anyway, will be going down for an interview tml at noon...maybe will be meeting EL...not confirm yet. guess working could earn me some allowance for the hong kong trip...hope i get the job...sigh...i bet my parents are gonna object if i tell them now. wait til i get the job...den i'll tell them...HAHA...not very respectful of their opinions...but...sometimes, action has to be done before consultation for things to work ya noe? so...yeah...hahaha. anyway, working could get my mind off lots of things...especially those which i wanna run away from or those i dunno the ans to...though its cowardly to run...but...wad could one achieve by brainstorming and worrying abt things u cannot do anything abt? i shall use that time to work...and let other stuff go smoothly along wif the course of time...
i was walking towards co room when i saw this girl in blue...wearing specs...slightly curly hair...walking towards me...and keep looking at me...i thought...wad the heck? but...she kept looking...OH YEAH she looked familiar...i think i noe who she is...but...i dont think i wanna call her out...in case i see wrongly...den as i walked pass her, i stopped in my tracks...cos she also stopped and was like glaring at me?! den she exclaimed: 'oei!' wahaha yeah yeah yeah...thats andrea...still as CUTE as before eh...kekeke. such a strange way and strange palce to meet...in front of security booth near mrt...in the middle of the road somemore. wahaha. oh well, who cares if we're affecting the flow of traffic right. hahaha. so we stood there and started chatting --> o_O lol. seems like she's still having some flu...glad that ur cough and sore throat is better le...silly girl. haha. pls, pls, andrea...pls, abort that idea of taking my blood...though its an HONOUR, a GREAT PLEASURE to be ur number 5th guneiea pig...but...i shall admit...THAT IM A COWARD...THAT IM AFRAID OF NEEDLES!!! though i managed to muster enough courage to donate blood...but...I STILL HATE NEEDLES!!!! >.< *<-- no acting cute!!!* GeEz...guess bo bianz lah. promise u liao...haf to be ur sacrificial being...sob sob sob. *<-- no acting cute!!!* haha, kinda miss the good old days when we took train together everyday...chit chat til 3-4am...i'll let u in on something which u might not noe...or maybe u do noe...but didnt say...that...at that time,
I LIKED U
feeling shocked? like the whole world has collapsed? that ur feeling a thousand swords has been pierced into ur heart? that this is the end of the world? wahaha. anyway, decided to say cos i really dont wanna keep this secret anymore. felt that its something u should noe...though now there's no such feelings, but, i feel that if i dont say it, it will be a knot tied forever in my heart...BUT...dont ask me more about this! i shall not reply any messages that are sent regarding this! pretend u nvr see it :p now we are really kor and di liao... ^-^
gEez...mad le...dont write liao...nightz...
oh ya, think i kan kai le...now i jus wanna earn money for HK trip and foster closer bonds wif the others...no more other nonsense...time to seal my heart from such emotions thingy le...
potato
11:35 PM
