Saturday, October 23, 2004
Feeling Terrible And Going Nuts
Feeling Terrible And Going Nuts
Saturday
Feeling: damn damn damn damn bored!
hmmm...not really feeling bery well lately...thursday was really a bad day for me...
i was late for work by nearly half an hour...and i dont have the manager's number...thus i could not tell him...in the end he called me instead...sucks...den...it started drizzling around 9pm when there are not many guest...William, the bar captain, made me a drink he created himself...said i can go into the office to try it. as i went in...i saw the manager, Karna, inside. SHIT. he asked me who made me the drinks...so i bo bian i said willium did...cos even if i said something else...it still doesnt change the fact that we'll all be in deep shit...and i think it would be worse if i lied. well he didnt say much...but i noticed a while after i left, he went to talk to william. im not sure what he said to him...but...im really sorry if i sabo-ed him...no matter how i rake my brains...i cannot think of anything i say can protect him in front of the manager...cos he's the only one who can make me drinks...sigh...he treat me drink...i still sabo-ed him...feeling so guilty =( ZzZZz... in the room, while i was drinking the drinks, i asked the manager abt my performance...he said 'so far so good' 'i quite like u, boy' den after leaving office for a while...all the messy business began. cos of the rain, the floor was wet...i was carrying the glasses near the bar when i slipped...i managed to balance myself just in time...but...i couldn't save the glasses. Piang! 2 glasses out of around 3 or 4 dropped onto the floor and shattered into a million pieces. damn it. the manager is around. sucks...15-30 minutes later...history repeated itself. same place somemore. the bar seems to be cursed when there is rain sia...shit it. the manager, again, was around as well. DAMN IT MAN. y so sway one?! he said 'yes i understand...if it wasn't for the rain, this would never have happened. i dont blame u, boi...i know this is not your fault...but...this is still unacceptable!!! this is...this is...this is...' he was searching for the right word. i gave him the word: image. 'yes yes! pls i hope it doesnt happen again alright?' with that, he stormed into the office. DAmN it man. he jus said he liked my performance and i give him this kind of shit. one of the guest looked at me in a strange manner...den as i walked pass, she asked 'are you tired?' wah piang i dunno wan to laugh or cry sia...i quickly explained...'sorry mdm, not at all. its my shoes, mdm. they are quite worn out...even the soles are gone...i slipped because there was no friction due to the rain'...shit man. this pair of shoes. i must get a new pair a.s.a.p. last time i do banquet...i nearly slipped in the oily kitchen so many times lor. good thing everytime managed to balance everything again...if not...i cant imagine one whole tray of glass plates and goblets dropping on the floor lor. sigh...sucks...
on friday, went to study at compass point wif EL and Poon...crapped a whole lot instead of studying...suddenly, i felt that...damn...i miss her soooooo much. i can sms her anytime and i know she'll reply and perhaps, entertain me...but...i dont wanna waste her sms...so i nvr msg her...but...the craving is still there lor...nothing could stop it...to add fuel to fire, she wont be coming online lately...sigh...i think im going to go nuts if i continue thinking...im trying to dump the thoughts out of my mind...i have yet to succeed...but...i must do it! for the sake of the coming exams, i cannot afford my mind to be distracted...sigh...sucks...i must haf patience!!! i must preservere!!! i cannot afford to be rush and irrational no more...i've had too many regrets in life and i dont wish my friendship with her to be one of them too...i must be determined!!! *smacks myself silly*
now still feeling damn bored...trying to dump thoughts out of my mind and concentrate on systems control...i go off le...wish me luck!
potato
2:23 PM
