Tuesday, February 20, 2007
My Zone
I find it strange that, I can think of many things to blog... But when I really settle down to type them out, I usually lose track of what I wanna type. Do you experience such things too?
| Which Positive Quality Are You? Your Result: Love You are Love. Love is the glue that binds us all together. The love of family, the love of friends, the love between husbands and their wives--these things form the foundation of our happiness, our security, and our comfort. "All you need is love." |
| Peace | |
| Charity | |
| Friendship | |
| Faith | |
| Courage | |
| Which Positive Quality Are You? |
Came across that quiz on Drea's blog... I don't really know what its about...
"If Valentine’s Day is a way to try and rekindle what you don’t have or perhaps never had, it’s a sign that you ought to reevaluate how you are in your relationship. Are you making your relationship everything it can and deserves to be all year long, or not?
Don’t look to your partner to make you happy. It’s his job to simply be who he is. Either he has earned your love by being who he is, or he hasn’t. It’s not his job to be doing things to "make you happier." It's both your jobs, to simply make sure you love the other as you both are. You don't love that which you seek to change; you love what already is. Love is a response to what exists, not to what you wish, what once was, or what merely might be. Love applies to the actual, not the theoretical.
To those of you who already understand this, it will be a happy Valentine's Day indeed :)"
Came across that on Turtle Comrade's blog... I really agree with it... I want to be myself... But I'm really not sure who I am anymore. My mind is intelligent, but all it wants to do is to slack and shut up, relax and mind its own business for the whole day... But my heart is kpo-by-nature and likes noise and make itself stand out by means of noise or action... Thus forcing my brain to think of things to talk and stuff likedat. These contradicting energies make me feel like talking... But cos the brain is lazy to think, so it'll just anyhow think of something to say to shut the heart up... So its usually bullshit that comes out. Haha. I don't know... But... Will anyone really like someone like that?
Meanwhile... I guess I always think too much about 'What might happen after we get together'... I didn't seem to give much thought about 'What is happening now'. That's ALWAYS my problem. I get too engrossed in what the future might be like that I forget about the present... NOW...
This is probably the reason why I decided not to do anything now... I just want to hide away at my own comfortable zone and wait for the right person who will enter this zone and find me... What's the point of trying to go after someone from another zone that you do not belong in? If you are motivated and have the drive, maybe you and that person can find another zone to co-exist... But for me... I have the motivation, but lack the drive to achieve it. So I'll just continue waiting... And waiting ... And waiting in my own world...
Today is the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year. Woke up and WOW-ed a bit before setting off for Mr Lee's place. I was supposed to be late... But ended up being the 1st to reach. This year, the new year visits ain't as buzzing as last time le... But anyway, went to Chen Lao-Shi's place at Buona Vista after that...
I was actually half-expecting to see Zhi Guan, Yinzhi, Chuan Cheng, Ah Beng they all to join SPCO's new year tour... But apparantly, that didn't happen... Think they found their new spot at Xiang Lin... A spot which I chose to give up.
I did not regret that decision though. I found my spot in 'Singapore Kopitiam', a World Of Warcraft gaming guild which was founded by John, Xinli, EL, Ah Lim, Jeff, Blade and me. There, I made new friends who has taught me a lot about life... Though it was a gaming guild, found with the intention of making friends... The game element was there just to kill time. Even in the last 1.5 months when I quit WOW, we still went out for movies, makan every week.
It was really great, hanging out with these people... I felt... Free... And comfortable... I guess this is because last time, whenever my friends start talking about CO, I'll feel like so out-of-place... Cos I don't know what they are talking about... And am not really interested in finding out more either... Afterall, I'm just a casual player... I only play chinese music because my friends play them... Here in SG Kopitiam, we do talk about stuff related to the game... But not so much. I can be a newbie... I can know peanuts about the game... But we'll still have so much more things to talk about... And I feel especially comfortable talking to John and Vellos... Feels as though talking to brothers like that... Vellos has been my friend since Sec 3... He is a really good listener... He's the 1st chap whom I can talk with for hours and we seldom have lack of topics to talk about one... Even if we don't talk, I won't feel strange or awakard also... Meanwhile, John gives really good advise... I don't know how he does it, but he always manages to identify the root of those troublesome stuff we face and provide precise pointers... I feel really comfortable sharing my problems with him... Cos he'll smack the truth at your face... Those words you hate to hear, but after hearing, you'll feel alot more comfortable... And really start cracking your head how to resolve those problems...
If there's anything good about the year 2006, its Xinli introducing WOW to me, Jeff pulling me into the guild TEAM SG where I met John, Me pulling Vellos in to play WOW and the formation of SG Kopitiam.
Haiz. There are times when people did attempt to enter my zone... But I'm either not interested, or not confident... I am really a very contradictive person... When I look for love, it ignores me. But when it looks for me, I ignore it. What the hell is wrong with me? I need some 'Major Confidence Potion'... Does anyone have it? At this rate, I'm probably gonna become a lonely old man... No wife and children at the age of 60. Left to die alone in this world...
Here comes another potential person knocking at my door again.. What should I do? I'm a total pussy... A chicken-wuss... A ball-less slime... Sigh...
potato
10:32 PM
